Melissa is an Advanced Certified Individual Schema Therapist and Supervisor, accredited by the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST). She is one of only a small number of professionals worldwide to hold this level of certification.
Melissa’s training included extensive supervised practice and independently rated therapy sessions to meet the ISST’s rigorous international standards. This ensures that she delivers Schema Therapy with exceptional skill, depth and care.
Schemas are deep emotional themes or ‘blueprints’ formed early in life, shaped by how our needs for love, safety, attention, and acceptance were met (or not met). Everyone develops schemas to some degree — they’re part of being human. However, when certain needs remain unmet, these patterns can become rigid or painful, affecting how we think, feel, and relate to others as adults. You might notice them in your thoughts, emotions, body sensations, or recurring life patterns.
In everyday life, schemas can show up as self-criticism, people-pleasing, perfectionism, avoidance, or intense emotional reactions. It’s like seeing the world through a particular lens that distorts how we view ourselves and others. Everyone has schemas to some degree. Some people connect with several schemas, while others may identify strongly with just one or two. The good news is that schemas can be understood, softened, and healed through therapy.
To explore the different schemas in more detail, click on the links below:
A deep fear that the people you rely on for support, love, or protection are unstable, unpredictable, or likely to leave. This can involve worries that they might get angry, withdraw, be inconsistent, choose someone else, or even die. People with this schema often feel anxious about losing important relationships and may struggle to trust that others will be there for them consistently.
A strong need for approval, attention, or admiration from others, often at the expense of feeling secure in your own identity. You may base your self-worth on how others react to you, rather than on your own values or feelings. This can show up as a focus on status, appearance, achievements, or social acceptance. People with this schema often make major life decisions to please others and may be highly sensitive to rejection or criticism.
A deep sense that you are flawed, unworthy, or unlovable, either in private or in the eyes of others. You may feel sensitive to criticism or rejection, compare yourself to others, or experience shame about perceived flaws — whether it’s your appearance, behaviour, or inner impulses. This schema can make it hard to feel comfortable showing your true self to others.
A persistent sense that you are unable to manage everyday responsibilities or challenges on your own. This can include doubts about taking care of yourself, solving problems, making decisions, or handling new tasks. People with this schema often feel helpless or reliant on others for guidance and support, and may struggle to trust their own abilities.
A sense that your emotional needs won’t be fully met by others. This can include a lack of attention, affection, warmth, or companionship, as well as limited understanding, empathy, or emotional connection. You may also feel unsupported when guidance, protection, or practical help is needed. People with this schema often feel lonely, unseen, or disconnected, and may struggle to trust that others can provide the care and support they need.
A pattern of holding back or disconnecting from your emotions, often because showing feelings was learned to be unsafe or shameful. This can make it hard for you to express joy, affection, sadness, or anger, and may lead to a focus on being “rational” or in control. People with this schema often struggle to share their needs or connect deeply with others.
A pattern of excessive emotional closeness or dependence on someone else, often at the expense of your own independence or personal growth. You may feel overly responsible for another person’s happiness or believe they cannot manage without you. This can leave you feeling smothered, fused, or lacking a clear sense of identity, and may result in feelings of emptiness, confusion, or a struggle to find your own direction.
A belief that you are superior to others or deserve special treatment, often feeling that normal rules don’t apply to you. This can show up as expecting to get what you want regardless of fairness or the impact on others, or a strong focus on success, status, or power. People with this schema may act competitively, dominate others, or push their own needs ahead of anyone else’s, sometimes struggling to show empathy or consider other people’s perspectives.
A persistent sense that you are inadequate, unsuccessful, or destined to fail compared to others. This can involve feeling incompetent, untalented, or less capable in areas like school, work, or personal achievements. People with this schema may constantly compare themselves to peers, doubt their abilities, and feel discouraged or hopeless about reaching their goals. It can lead to avoidance of challenges, fear of making mistakes, and a general sense of falling short despite effort or accomplishments.
A pattern of intense fear that your emotions or impulses will get out of control, often leading you to restrain or disconnect from your feelings. This can include worries about being overwhelmed by emotions, hurting yourself or others, or overindulging in behaviors like spending, eating, or substance use. People with this schema may be highly preoccupied with their inner state or how they appear to others, and may avoid expressing emotions to prevent perceived harm or judgment. This often develops in environments where emotions were unpredictable, punished, or associated with chaos or danger.
A pattern of struggling to manage impulses, emotions, or responsibilities, which can make it difficult to achieve personal goals or maintain commitments. This may show up as avoiding discomfort, conflict, or responsibility, or giving in to immediate desires at the expense of long-term well-being. People with this schema often find it challenging to stay disciplined or follow through on plans, which can affect personal fulfillment and a sense of integrity.
A belief that others are likely to hurt, deceive, or take advantage of you, often with the expectation that such harm is intentional or unfair. People with this schema may feel cautious, suspicious, or on guard in relationships, and often expect that they will be treated unfairly or “get the short end of the stick.” This can make it hard to trust others or feel safe in close connections.
A tendency to focus on the negative aspects of life and expect that things will go wrong, even in areas that are going well. This can include worry about mistakes, loss, conflict, or failure, and may lead to chronic anxiety, indecision, or constant vigilance. People with this schema often struggle to notice or enjoy positive experiences, feeling preoccupied with what could go wrong and the potential consequences of their actions.
A tendency to judge or blame others harshly for their mistakes or shortcomings, often believing they should be punished or held strictly accountable. People with this schema may struggle to forgive, empathize, or see extenuating circumstances, and may experience anger, impatience, or intolerance toward others. This can make relationships difficult, as the focus is on others’ faults rather than understanding or compromise.
A tendency to blame or punish yourself harshly for mistakes, imperfections, or perceived failures. People with this schema often feel excessive responsibility for things going wrong, experience self-directed anger, and struggle to forgive themselves. Unlike Punitiveness (Other), this self-criticism is primarily internal, which may allow relationships with others to remain intact. This schema often develops in environments where mistakes were met with severe punishment, abuse, or unrealistically high expectations.
A tendency to put others’ needs ahead of your own, often at the expense of your own well-being or fulfillment. This usually comes from a desire to avoid guilt, prevent hurting others, or maintain relationships with people who seem needy. While caring for others can feel rewarding, people with this schema may struggle to meet their own needs, sometimes leading to frustration, resentment, or a sense of being overlooked.
A persistent sense of being disconnected or separate from others, as if you don’t belong or fit in with any group or community. People with this schema may feel different, misunderstood, or excluded, and may struggle to form close relationships or feel a sense of belonging. This can lead to loneliness, withdrawal, or a belief that meaningful connections with others are unattainable.
A pattern of giving up your own needs, desires, or feelings to avoid conflict, anger, or rejection from others. People with this schema often feel that their opinions or emotions are not valid, leading to excessive compliance or people-pleasing. Over time, this can create internal frustration or resentment, which may show up as passive-aggressive behavior, emotional outbursts, withdrawal, or other coping strategies.
A strong belief that you must meet extremely high standards in your behavior, performance, or moral conduct, often to avoid criticism or disapproval. People with this schema may struggle to relax, feel constant pressure, or judge themselves and others harshly. It often shows up as perfectionism, rigid rules or “shoulds” in many areas of life, and an intense focus on productivity or efficiency, sometimes at the expense of health, relationships, or enjoyment.
A persistent fear that disaster or catastrophe could strike at any moment and that you would be unable to prevent it. This can involve worries about medical issues, emotional breakdowns, or external dangers such as accidents, natural disasters, or crime. People with this schema often feel anxious, hyper-vigilant, or constantly on guard, anticipating threats even in everyday situations.
Many people seek Schema Therapy because they notice recurring emotional patterns — perhaps feeling not good enough, fearing rejection, or struggling with trust and closeness. These patterns can feel confusing or hard to change, even when we understand them logically.
Schema Therapy helps you identify and heal these patterns at their roots — rather than just managing symptoms. By bringing awareness and compassion to these old emotional blueprints, you can begin to rewrite them, respond differently, and build stronger, more balanced connections with yourself and those around you.
Schema Therapy is a collaborative and emotionally focused process. In your sessions, you and Melissa work together to explore the patterns and experiences that have shaped how you think, feel, and relate to others. You’ll learn to recognise your ‘schemas’ — the emotional themes that keep certain struggles repeating — and develop practical ways to change them.
Therapy may include a mix of conversation, reflection, imagery, and experiential techniques designed to help you understand your emotions at a deeper level and begin healing the parts of yourself that have felt unseen or unmet. Over time, most people notice greater self-awareness, emotional balance, and a stronger sense of inner safety and connection.
Schema Therapy helps you identify and heal deep emotional patterns that developed from unmet needs in childhood, while EMDR Therapy helps you process traumatic or distressing memories that may reinforce those patterns. Used together, EMDR can release the emotional charge of past experiences, and Schema Therapy provides tools to understand, change, and respond differently to long-standing patterns, supporting lasting emotional growth and wellbeing.
Access a wealth of helpful Schema Therapy resources in the client portal by clicking the button below. Note: This page is password-protected.
